Opening to Change
Send me a postcard from the other side of the worldDo you also have times when nothing seems to be working? You know, the job, the family, the love life, all seem to be hopelessly overwhelming and/or disappointing? Times when the glass is most definitely half empty and you don't have a clue what to do about it?
Navigating through these periods can be a big challenge. It takes a lot of will power and commitment to stay open and yet focused on the life goals that we have set for ourselves. Even when things start looking dark and hopeless. This past Winter, I passed through some discouraging times where I found myself calling a lot of things into question. Both professionally and personally, I felt enormously challenged. I knew that change was about to happen, I could feel the movement, but I didn't know when it would come or how I would manage it. Could I give up control and let myself flow into the next adventure coming toward me in life?
My friend Molly gave me a whiz-bang demonstration of fearlessly opening to change. She has been focused on her professional career for the past 28 years. She has a management level position in a large international company and earns a hefty salary with bonus at the end of each year. She is a charmer and her charismatic personality has made her one of the top people in her firm. Molly's love life has always taken a backseat to her professional career and for a long time that appeared to work just fine. I watched her fly off practically every weekend to join a lover in a foreign city or attend a party where she might meet and bed yet another unknown lover, the wilder and more unconventional the better. She had been doing this for as long as I have known her and seemed content with this freewheeling approach to the opposite sex. She never dragged any of these guys home. She never seemed to take these flings seriously and, as far as I know, she hadn't had a steady relationship in years.
Then this past winter on one of her luxury sea cruises for singles, she met James and fell madly in love with him. I never expected to see her go through this kind of change but when she returned from the trip, she was transformed. Like an excited teenage she told her friends all about him. Her face was flushed and radiant as she described the blossoming affair and the love that was growing between them. She was swept away with the thrill of being, for the first time in years, in relationship with a man. All her interest in the play parties, the costume and fetish events, the anonymous weekend sex adventures, the cute but disposable men, it all disappeared in an instant. She began to talk about letting everything go, quitting her job, selling her apartment and moving to the country. I thought she was completely mad but had enough good sense to keep my opinion to myself. I just nodded, smiled and let her rattle on. She was so happy and, being the caretaker that I am, I just hoped and prayed that James wouldn't break her heart.
A week later, she called to tell me she had been fired from her job; reorganization was underway and from one day to the next, she was out. She packed up her office, took her severance pay and sat herself down to consider the options. It made complete sense. It was time for a change, she was in love and the Universe had given her the push that she needed. It was absolutely clear. She would not look for a comparable position in another firm.
Five days later, she left for an open-ended trip through the Arizona desert with the bare essentials, a rental car, a tent and her new lover in tow. "I've worked all my life. I've managed my department, earned a lot of money, taken care of everything and everybody but myself. This is a chance for me to discover the magical flow of life and reinvent myself. Change is here and I'm not going to miss this opportunity." Off she went and I don't know when she will be back. I don't know what she will do when the money runs out. I don't think she has any idea but she's not worrying about it. She is rearranging her priorities and starting out on an ecstatic adventure at the age of 50. Life can be like that. We don't always know how the story will unfold but we can jump in and go with the flow. We can't always calculate the risk and we certainly can't always predict the outcome. So long Molly! I wish you much joy and an amazing adventure. Send me a postcard from the other side of the world.
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